I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months now, and I’ve been unsure about us being right for each other long term.
I enjoy his company, we get along well and I’m definitely developing feelings for him. He has some amazing positive traits and has treated me well so far, he has also made concrete efforts to meet my needs every time I expressed them – becoming more responsive/frequent in communicating with me, opening up about his past, seeing each other more -. He’s warm, loving and tries to make my life a little bit easier, which I’m not used to but man is it nice.
Then why don’t I feel sure about him?
Every time I feel the need to push a little further in the relationship I spend days pondering whether to do it, if it’s worth it and whether he’ll halt me and respond poorly (still hasn’t happened!). I want him to ask about me, but every time he does (rarely, but it has become a little more frequent) I stumble upon my words. I’m used to having very close friends with whom I have deep, long, sometimes existential conversations with, and it’s just not happening with him. When I don’t see him for a while I start feeling like he’s a stranger, and then it goes away when we meet up, just to come back later.
I’m alone on this rollercoaster: he seems absolutely fine with how things are, stable, reliable even.
But I still don’t feel “sure”. “Sure” this is right for me, “sure” he’s trustworthy, “sure” we have a common ground on how we see the world, “sure” that you I a good grasp of who this person is at his core.
I thought it was normal at this stage, but I recently talked to some friends and they told me they were “sure” (or at least sure enough) pretty early on.
—> So I come here to ask: how long does it take for you to feel that “sureness” about the person you’re seeing? Have you ever had this kind if feelings, and how did it turn out in the end?
