I started a new job a few weeks ago. Today, I was called out by my manager. She told me I should’ve said “send it to John and myself,” or “send it to John and I” instead. She said what I had said in my email was grammatically wrong, that it was not proper English.
That comment got me so confused. I answered her back, telling her that although the phrase “John and myself” sounded more professional, that didn’t necessarily mean mine was wrong. She asked me if I went to a school here (I live in North America). She made me google if the phrase “John and me” in the context was correct. Google said it was. Then she made me ask ChatGPT, and I got the same answer. She said those are wrong, and eventually brought another coworker, who happened to be white, to answer who were on the right and wrong.
She has been giving me some feedbacks on my emails, which I was initially fine with. However, after her question and involving a completely different person to back her up, I can’t help but think her feedbacks are about my race, not my English.
Here are the feedbacks I have got from her so far:
-
There’s no comma after greetings.
Good afternoon, John. I hope you are doing well. ➡️ this has to be Good afternoon John, I hope you are doing well.
2. There’s no comma before an “and.”
I love my family, friends, and dogs. ➡️ this has to be I love my family, friends and dogs.
3. Never say “send it to John and me,” “send it to me and John,” or even “send it to me” as that’s not proper English.
4. I know the three dashes: hyphen, en dash, and em dash. I would say I use them correctly, whereas the said manager has previously told me that they were the same in the country I currently live in. Are they?
The only correct usages are “send it to John and I,” “send it to John and myself,” and “send it to myself.”
I am by all means not an expert on English grammar. I just don’t think my grammar is that bad. She tells me I’m wrong, but the corrections she’s giving me don’t sound right either.
Am I being stubborn and difficult to accept constructive feedbacks?
UPDATE: The manager approached me earlier today and told me she would have to go easy on my emails, as she knows languages change over time and what she was taught decades ago might not be applicable to today’s curriculum anymore. She also said different people from different backgrounds speak English differently, hence she would try to change her perspective and approach moving forward.
I think the coworker told her boss what happened. He looked extremely uncomfortable with our conversation yesterday, so yeah…….
Some people asked me what happened, and turns out the manager was quite well known for her stubbornness and micromanaging, so it was best to nod and smile the next time something similar happens.
